I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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