Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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