you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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