Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize