I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So here I am, sexting at work.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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