Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
