i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
