Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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