dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
