why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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