Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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