Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
