You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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