3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
