Got a toothbrush?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
