i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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