The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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