so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
