I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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