I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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