she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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