You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize