you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
