Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
