Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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