am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
