They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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