fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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