the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
farters have to be the big spoon...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
