we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize