College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
