I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The feeling are messing with the penis
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
