WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
