Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm getting married
To pizza
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
