I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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