This girl is more easily done than said...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
