Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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