She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
