Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
