New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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