My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
