on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize