Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
