i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
