question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
