Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
