Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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