Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
