So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize