just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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