I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
