look no pants
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
