I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
