that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You did what with his pubic hair?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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