I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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