i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
