We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
