he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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