I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
