When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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